Well, Dave left about an hour ago for KC... my folks are taking him so he's driving to Boonville and going from there. I'm sad that he had to leave so early, but he made his reservations. Now, of course, I can't get back to sleep.
Honestly, it wasn't that great of a visit. I guess I'm not in the best of moods anyways.. .that time of the month..... but it seems like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. Last night, he had the kids out at the big play slide/fort thing. I SPECIFICALLY told him to keep a close eye on Emily because she likes to climb the 7 foot ladder and then gets to the top and wants to step down. I look out and he and Dave are looking off into the trees about 20 feet away and Em is on the LADDER!!! I almost had a heart attack! Steven fell off that ladder a few weeks ago and I'm scared! DUH.
Besides that, I specifically asked him to do the trimming and to NOT mow the grass... I can do that easily and Kristen is coming to babysit on Saturday. I have trouble managing the trimmer in the ditch by the mailbox and on the other end. I don't think he did it at all. I also specifically asked him to move the big things that I pulled out of the garden to behind the shed so I could mow and clean out that end of the garden. I HIGHLY doubt he did that either. But, of course he did mow... and of course he spent literally at least 7 hours doing it and didn't finish. So now, I have a yard that's 3/4 mowed, not trimmed and has big piles of clippings pushed next to the trees (Not attractive).
Plus, I came home Monday and he was outside mowing while the kids were napping (AT 5 PM!!) First, how's he gonna hear them? Second... we get up by 6:30 and have to be out the door quickly..... ya think they are going to be going to bed on time if they are still napping that late???? In addition, he had to tell me how he cleaned the whole house. Wait... duh, I cleaned it on Thursday evening. And he had to tell me how he had to wash all the kids' clothes..... well, sorta..... Nathan is still learning about #2 and using the potty, so he was out of undies... but I washed all the clothes on Thursday night.... he could have done a small load with undies and a couple of things... but "I had to wash all the kids clothes". Then, I ask him what he'd like to do about dinner on Mon night... thinking maybe he might throw something together (even a stinkin sandwich)... no reply. Then he went to the gas station to get gas for the mower.... (by the way, I asked him to get me a FOUNTAIN diet pepsi... he brings he a bottle....) And he never comes in!!! I ended up fixing dinner then had to run to WM to get diapers because apparently when there are only two in the cabinet I must be hiding them somewhere and it's not important.
I wonder if this is going to work. It won't work if this kind of stuff keeps happening. And he asked me several times about things I KNOW I told him about on the phone... why do I bother... he apparently either doesn't care enough or doesn't pay attention. I really feel ignored. I feel like he doesn't care at all about what I want, what I need, or even about the safety of our kids. I don't know what else I can do to let him know what I want and need... all of these things were things I said to him directly and he ignored me. This doesn't even go into things like possibly OFFERING for me to go out alone or do something by myself while he's here so I can have some time off.....I had to just go do that and WOO HOO, I got my hair cut and went to the grocery store. I want to be sad that he's leaving, but I'm relieved right now. And he was only here for four days....
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oh, gosh, so sad. it can be so hard when the dh travels and is gone. i have struggled for 22 years with this. i can only say, just let it go for now. you are only going to make yourself sad. he won't care or understand. he will think HE IS THE ONE STRUGGLING!! really. you are a strong wonderful woman and you are always smiling when i read your posts! just hang in there. i am thinking about you!
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